Are you living someone else’s career?

When I was an education product manager, a leader told me it felt like I was searching for something, and I hadn't found it. Yes, cue some U2. I still needed to find what I was looking for. I hope you have that in your head now because I do. And to some extent, he was right; I was unhappy because I had a boss who couldn't help me. Who would tell me I was wrong but not help or advise me on why? I was searching for a boss or a position where I felt I had a person who cared about what happened to me.

But I loved education. I loved creating educational products. I loved helping learners reach for something they hadn't found before. Yes, it all comes back to U2.

And it was the realization that I needed help finding what I was looking for because the right people didn't surround me. I wasn't surrounded by people who "saw me" and wanted me to succeed. So often, we're in roles we want to love, and there are better positions than the ones we're in. It's rare to find, but we only increase our chances of finding it by accepting what we can and cannot control.

I couldn't control my boss and his inability to support or guide me. But I could control if I left and found one who did. And I did. I found a fantastic boss in Michael Pellerin, one of my favorite people.

Sometimes, the only choice we have is movement. Our only option is to accept these career waves as they wash over us and know that sometimes the only choice is a detour. We must move with what happens or risk capsizing and forgetting who we are.

We can't lead someone else's life, let alone someone else's career. The only one you control is the one you are in, and your choices define what happens. You have to be brave, and bravery can be emotionally rending. But there's another side to that rending, where you find a nurturing and helpful path, where people see you and inspire you to move on when you're ready, or sometimes, even when you're not.

I hope to be that safe but challenging space for many of you. Where I see you and help you heal, help you see yourself again to move on to whatever will be next for you. But don't live someone else's career.

Live your own.